An individual who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience a constant change in their perception of the world they live in, leaving them scared and defensive. The instability in their lives is the governing factor for individuals with BPD. Be it in their relationships, moods, thinking, behaviour and even their identity, making it almost too difficult and frightening to live their lives.
An important feature of BPD is the existence of serious interpersonal or relationship problems. Individuals who suffer from BPD have intense and unstable relationships marked by frequent flickering between extreme dependency and sudden withdrawal. In addition to this, other symptoms of BPD like impulsive behaviours, suicidal behaviours, etc. can also bring about stress into the relationship.
Let’s learn why BPD relationships are so complicated:
- Idealizing new partner
Individuals suffering from BPD at the beginning of a new relationship often idealize their partners or put them “on a pedestal”. Doing this often makes them believe that they have found their soul mate that would take care of their emotional, psychological and physical needs. Soon problems tend to arise, when reality sets in.
Individuals with BPD start realizing that their partner too can commit faults, and the idealized image of their partner being perfect comes crashing down. Individuals with BPD often think that people can either be good or bad. They struggle with understanding the fact that people make mistakes but inherently are goo and mean well. Hence these individuals quickly go from idealization to devaluation.
- Poor emotional intelligence
Individuals suffering from BPD have poor emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is important ability to develop, it helps you monitor yours as well as others emotions and use this knowledge to help guide your thinking and behaviour. Many individuals with BPD lack empathy. They get so caught up with their own intense emotions that they become oblivious to others emotions.
- Impulsive aggression
Impulsive aggression in an individual suffering from BPD is anger that is triggered at the slightest threat or abandonment. This aggression can be directed inwards like self-harm or directed outward like verbal abuse.
Aggressive tendencies can be inherited. Impulsive aggression is so strong and overwhelming they become difficult to control and contain. Hence impulsive aggression whether turned inward or outward gets in the way of barriers developing the close, and trusting relationship with the individual’s partner.
- Sensitive to rejection
Individuals who suffer from BPD are overly sensitive to rejection in addition to fearing abandonment from their loved ones. They would anticipate anxiously, to see if their partners would leave them; constantly doubting them in this process. Once they sense or perceive rejection, they would over- react to it even though that rejection is present in reality or not. Hence small misunderstandings or miscommunication ends up being blown out of proportion.
- Sexual Behaviour
Individuals with BPD display symptoms relating to sexual behaviour and struggle with issues of sexuality, where in they would more often engage in reckless sexual behaviours, have negative attitudes towards sex and would be more prone to sexual promiscuity.
A large reason for this behaviour is due to unfortunate experiences in childhood such as sexual abuse. Individuals who have negative attitudes towards sex are likely to feel pressured into having sex and would be ambivalent about sex.
The reasons for sexual promiscuity and reckless sexual behaviours would be to combat feelings of emptiness and loneliness that are associated with BPD. They would also engage in these behaviours when they experience intense positive emotions or negative emotions like jealousy, sadness or fear of abandonment.
- Fear abandonment.
Fear of abandonment is a symptomatic feature witnessed in BPD, here individuals are terrified of their partners leaving them hence feel desperate and devastated about it. If a relationship is unhealthy and the relationship is broken up individuals with BPD would even resort to threatening their partner to not leave them by resorting through suicidal behaviour.
Maintaining a relationship with someone who suffers from BPD can be quite challenging but the key here is to cope with their symptoms and help and support your partners to manage them.
This can be achieved by seeking professional mental health help for your partner and also by seeking couples therapy for your relationship. For effective treatment options for borderline personality disorder, call us now on +919611194949.