She died of dementia, two years ago diagnosed with advanced dementia. She refused to have food and liquid, when she reached a certain stage of dementia. She might have realized that there is no point in living. They reach certain point on dementia, when they no longer recognize their loved ones which make it difficult to feed them or have food themselves.
The last two years, I still remember she was not sure if I was her mother. She never used to speak more than the occasional ‘Yes’ or ‘no’. She was hardly able to walk, or feed herself. She was dependent but it was difficult to handle her. Her smile was awesome; I guess that something which reminded me that she still loves me.
They still enjoy simple pleasures – even share affection with loved ones. Yes, they are no longer the same kind of person they once were, but does that mean that we should abandon them completely, or want them to leave the earth? No Right? It would be really cruel to resort to something of that sort.
They can’t express their desires and needs, just as we do. All they can do is look in the eyes and hold our hands. Its amazing see how often the topic of guilt gets bubbled up with caregivers. Many of them struggling with and wondering how to handle the guilt.
You don’t have feel guilt for not able to handle person properly, Yes If you are callous and insensitive we probably should feel a sense of guilt. It necessary to examine our behaviour and make change which won’t cost you anything but can help someone suffering.
For Caregivers, you should understand that there are many things outside of your control and most often there are generally no easy solutions for such things. You should rather not worry and there is no need for guilt here.