Cadabam's Blog

Human beings are essentially emotional being. Many of our emotions are positive and healthy. Some of them are negative and unhealthy. Coping with emotions is necessarily managing negative emotions and nurturing positive emotions. It involves identifying one’s own emotions, being aware of the fact that how emotions influence health and behavior and learning appropriate emotional reactions. Inappropriate and disproportionate expression of emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, and sadness will have negative effect on our health.

Emotions comprise an important past of ones personality. They determine the nature of interpersonal and social interaction and significantly contribute to one’s psychological and physical well being. Emotional maturity indicates better adjustment and health. In other words emotional maturity is a result of thinking and learning unlike intelligence and other abilities, an individual can be trained to trim his emotion at any given age of life, but childhood and adolescent year are the best period to do so.

Lack of emotional control can lead to various difficulties especially among adolescents like.

- Impulsivity
- Irritability
- Anger outbursts
- Picking up fights easily
- Indulging in violent behavior
- Poor interpersonal relationship with siblings, parents, peer, teachers
- Crying spells
- Mood disturbances
- Feeling being neglected/ rejected
- Unhealthily competition
- Scholastic backwardness
- Anxiety
- Feeling depressed

Physiological problems
Headache
Stomachache
Other body pain & aches
Nausea & vomiting
Poor digestion
Hysterical fits (pseudo seizures)
Asthma & other breathing problem
Allergies
Coping skills training:

Coping with emotions mainly involves identifying enhancing those positive emotions which promote an individual health & well being, and on the other hand identifying and handling those negative emotions which are harmful to individuals physical, psychological & spiritual well being this learning can help them to utilize their positive emotions for success in the different arena of life.

Training in coping with emotions involves the following points, this in also known as emotional literacy.

-Identifying one’s own emotions:
Being aware of ones feelings and emotions. Identifying and experiencing emotions constantly and self monitoring of emotion as they occur.

Managing emotions:
Learning to express appropriate emotions. Capacity to soothe oneself shake off immense anxiety, and ability to rationalize failures and set back so as to recover from irritability gloominess and depression.

Motivating oneself:
Using emotions positively in the service of a goal. This helps to focus on positive aspects of life. Enhance self –motivation, mastery & creativity.

Emotional self-control:
Delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness. This ability pushes an individual for outstanding performances.

Recognizing emotions in others:
Empathy or ability to take perspective of others. This ability is helpful for “people skills” and “social skills”.

Handling relationships :
The art of relationship is, in large part a skill in managing others. This ability helps in developing leadership qualities & interpersonal effectiveness.
Emotions Control Training Center

Managing Anger:
1. Take a ‘timeout:’ Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.
2. Get some space: Take a break from the person you’re angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.
3. Once you’re calm, express your anger: It’s healthy to express your frustration in a non confrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation worse.
4. Get some exercise: Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
5. Think carefully before you say anything: Otherwise, you’re likely to say something you’ll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you’re angry, it’s easy to get sidetracked.
6. Identify solutions to the situation: Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
7. Use ‘I’ statements when describing the problem: This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, “I’m upset you didn’t help with the housework this evening,” instead of, “You should have helped with the housework.”
8. Don’t hold a grudge: If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
9. Use humor to release tensions: Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don’t use sarcasm, though — it’s can hurt feelings and make things worse.
10. Practice relaxation skills: Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “Take it easy.” Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.

Managing anger is more easier said than done. As we have discussed it more than a simple
Lesson or way of life to just learn understand and adopt it is an inherent emotion with both body and environment having influence with a conditioning tinge adding to the already difficult situation. Hence first step is to understand that anger is not bad and we cannot be completely be without it but when used constructively it can change lives. To have constructive anger first step is to understand which is what this reading does.