Marijuana: Herbal or addictive...

Over the last decade, the use of marijuana has grown popular across various countries and so brings the never-ending debate of whether marijuana is healthy or not. On one hand there are progressive cannabis supporters looking at the health benefits of it while on the other hand of this ever-growing divide are people who fear […]

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How to Motivate Autistic Adult...

Autism is a word that a lot of people would not like to hear when it comes to their loved ones especially adults. It’s a sensitive topic and sometimes they don’t even like talking about it. They tend to be in denial and would say that their adult is just delayed or something of that […]

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Do you see these Bipolar Disor...

Bipolar disorder, which has been known as manic-depression before the 1980s, refers to patterns of abnormal and severe mood swings that can range from disabling mania to mania. As the term “bipolar” suggests, this refers to extreme moods from depressed on one end to manic on the other end. So what are some of the […]

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What Does Bipolar Feel Like?

Sajan 25, “Often, I was preoccupied with suicidal thoughts.” Am not sure of what am going through the early stage. I feel like crying for no reason, always worried about future events and make myself comfortable in my own spaces. Gradually, these behaviours became an ideal zone for me. Doing daily activities such as getting […]

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Marijuana Addiction- Can you g...

Marijuana/ pot has been around for a very long time, from the ancient world through our modern period the cannabis plant has played a major role in legal and illegal drug-taking behaviors in people. Is marijuana addiction real or Can you get addicted to pot though? With all this data from thousands of years of […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

 

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