Difference between Obsession a...

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder wherein an individual experiences recurring and undesirable thoughts, sensations or ideas which is known as obsessions that compels them to carry out behaviour on repetition which is known as compulsions. Let’s understand the difference between Obsession and Compulsion;   Obsessions Compulsions What are they? They are thoughts, ideas […]

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Sex OCD

Obsessions about sexual content Obsessions about sexual content or intrusive sexual thoughts are recurrent and repugnant thoughts that are sexual in nature. They are involuntary and cause extreme distress when they rise in the individual’s mind. They often experience extreme shame, guilt, hopelessness, and depression causing them to label themselves deviant and repulsive. The very […]

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Treatment for Obsessive compul...

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) affects an individual’s thoughts and behaviour. Here the individual has intrusive repetitive distressing thoughts and compulsions or ritualistic mental acts or behaviour that temporarily reduces the distress. Living with OCD can be devastating as the individual is aware that something is wrong with them but are unable to control their thoughts. […]

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Is alcoholism hereditary?

Number of studies has been conducted to find if our gene is the cause of alcoholism, yet there has not been a study that confirms it. Experts have conducted twin and adoption studies to reach this goal. However what was found was; genes or heredity is not the sole reason for alcoholism, along with it […]

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Impact of alcoholism on family

Alcoholism is a well known health hazard. It impacts the individual’s health, their social status, finance and mental health too. But along with these it also affects the abuser’s family. Man is a social being and is always connected to others; the closet among all is family. Hence the family is bound to get an […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

DO YOU HAVE ANY ENQUIRIES ?