Refusal skills: Is it complica...

Recent studies have shown that many youths want to get withdrawn from drugs, alcohol and even sexual addiction. Why getting addicted? Influence – from media, society, friends, organizations. So then, How to say NO and mean it? It’s easy to “Just sneak out for a night to have some shots and have fun!” “Just once” […]

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Grief and Management of Compli...

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s great difficulties. If you have experienced the pain of mourning, you know that any way to ease the loss is welcomed. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock […]

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Religious Practice: Personal E...

It was like any other regular day at Rehabilitation centre meeting families and reviewing the progress of residents but I was a for a sudden surprise when a parent wanted to discharge the resident on the recommendation of an Astrologer and perform a certain type of tantric rituals to ward off the evils. At the […]

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Stages of Alcoholism

Alcohol is the most commonly abused substance creating serious medical, social & psychological problems. Likewise, we do have different stages of alcoholism. What is Alcoholism and Stages of Alcoholism? Most definitions of alcoholism incorporate the following dimensions: Large quantities of alcohol consumed over a period of years. Physiological manifestations of ethanol addiction Loss of control […]

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When does drinking become bing...

Drinking alcohol is a common social practice in our society. But, how much alcohol is too much and of all the above when does drinking become binge drinking disorder?   Binge Drinking Disorder Binge drinking is a phenomenon that’s been around for a very long time. Generally, binge drinking is purposeful drinking. People drink for […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

 

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