Alcoholism: When can suddenly ...

You went out last night. Did you had a drink. You feel like you’ve been drinking too much and you want to stop so you stop. Most people feel like that after a lot of occasional drinking. However, social or occasional infrequent drinking is not alcoholism. Suddenly stopping drinking can be a bad idea. If you […]

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Alzheimer’s Disease: Treatment...

Mrs. S’s 70-year-old husband forgot to pick the grandkids from school today. She did notice something has been up with him lately but just couldn’t understand what. Is old age catching up to him? He never remembers anything she tells him to do these days. Sometimes he has difficulty remembering names of some family members. […]

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10 Signs You May Have Obsessiv...

As per WHO (World Health Organisation), About 2% of the world’s population suffer from OCD which is roughly 1 in 50 people. OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is a type of anxiety disorder that causes obsessive and compulsive thoughts to a person. This article highlights the various types of symptoms that are associated with OCD. Listed below […]

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How to Stop Porn Addiction?

As most of us realize there is a great and lot deal of porn floating around the web these days. With porn so easy to come by it, there is also a little surprising fact that porn addiction is on the rise and no wonder how it is fueled. Many people will and may be […]

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Mystery of Motivation Thought

How many of us decided to wake up early & do the exercise or Yoga, just to stop after few days. How many of us enthusiastically stopped all cigarettes, started workup, guitar classes, aerobic training program… Etc.  Only to stop after a while, due to lack of motivation. We quickly lose motivation and stop pursuing […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

 

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