Borderline Personality Disorde...

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and addiction can go hand to hand. The question that arises here is whether the hen came first or the egg? The same applied with BPD and with substance abuse.  they are not guaranteed co-occurring illness, talk about how many ppl with addiction have chances of this. What is Borderline Personality […]

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Living With Dementia Parent As...

Hello, I am Kamal Jeet Singh, I am a caregiver for my dad who’s suffering from dementia since 2016. Recently, I read a piece of news and got to know that 40-60% of dementia caregivers experience significant stress. Such an immense number kept me worried. According to my layman knowledge, at least 50% of them […]

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All you need to know about Fac...

Too much of anything is dangerous, and so is the same with Facebook. Yes, Facebook has become so popular that psychologists identified a new mental health disorder called “Facebook Addiction Disorder”. Yes, you heard it right!   “Facebook addiction according to psychologists, is a fine line between social networking and social dysfunction.” Infact – Facebook […]

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Is Parkinson’s a form of...

Yes, Parkinson’s disease is a type of Dementia. It is a progressive disorder that affects changes in the body movement. The average age of onset of Parkinson’s disease is 60 years and the longer somebody has it, the more likely they are to develop dementia. What causes the illness? What are the symptoms, risk factors […]

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Dementia Caregiver Stress

Frankly, caregiving is not an easy task to do. The role of a caregiver demands more patience, better understanding, self-discipline, above all a scads of responsibilities. If you are into this role, firstly, pat yourself on your back, you are doing a fabulous job! A recent study published by the National Academy of Science suggests […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

 

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