Borderline Personality Disorde...

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental health issue manifest by continuous unsteadiness in moods, behaviour, functioning and self-image. These experiences frequently result in unstable relationships and impulsive action. An individual with BPD may meet extreme scenes of anger, misery, and uneasiness that may last from just a couple of hours to days. Borderline […]

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Substance Abuse Statistics

Substance abuse means to the harmful or unsafe use of psychoactive substances, including illicit drugs and alcohol. Psychoactive substance use can prompt to dependence disorder; a group of behavioural, physiological, cognitive phenomenon that create after frequent substance use and that normally incorporate a powerful urge to take the drug, challenges in controlling its use, holding […]

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Borderline Personality Disorde...

Borderline personality disorder or BPD is mostly known to occur among women and rarely seen in men. It is a disorder that characterizes high emotionality, sensitivity and unstable patterns of relationships. Men express BPD symptoms differently from women, this is one of the reasons it gets misunderstood. It has been suggested by studies that women […]

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Substance Abuse Disorder

Substance abuse disorder is when an individual engages in a harmful intake of a substance or drug, affecting various areas of life. Due to the substance abuse the individual fails to function effectively in their personal, professional and social areas of life. Identifying the symptoms at an early stage can enable a quicker recovery. Here […]

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Borderline Personality Disorde...

Do you have someone in your life who, most of the time, have terrible mood fluctuations, multiple unstable relationships, always feel empty and impulsive? Are these affecting their personal and professional life? You may consider seeking a professional opinion as these are primary symptoms of borderline personality disorder or BPD. Here are few questions that […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

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