How to help an Alcoholic?

It is painful and overwhelming to see someone you love destroy their life due to an addictive behaviour. Alcoholics usually tend to deny their addiction and only realize it when its negative effects have spread into almost all areas of life. Here the role of friends and family members can be effective in encouraging them […]

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First aid for Panic Attacks

Panic attack is a condition which is episodic in nature marked by high anxiety and fear, also discomfort that develops suddenly and reaches heights within 10 minutes.   Observable symptoms: Trembling and shaking Sweating Short breaths and sensations of choking If the person reports – palpitations, chest pain or discomfort, abdominal distress or nausea, dizziness […]

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Panic Attack in Child

Did you know that a panic attack in children often manifests in the early stages of adolescence? And, it is the most common psychological problem in the western countries, usually affecting about 2-3% of the people especially the younger ones in a year. There is no specific event triggering the first panic attack in children, […]

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Alcohol Detoxification

Do you know that Delirium tremens kills one in  20 people during alcohol withdrawal? Yes, It is estimated these tremors occur in 5 percent of the people who go through the process of alcohol withdrawal. This is the time where the alcohol detoxification comes into the picture.   It is good if you have decided […]

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How To Stop Panic Attack

Dying on EMI basis?   In the spur of a moment suddenly thinking of losing control, having a heart attack or even dying. No clue of what’s happening in and around? That could be a panic attack. Yes! A panic attack is a sudden impact of intense fear that creates severe physical reactions in the […]

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Giving advice is wrong? You must be joking!!

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When a friend or a family member would come to you to discuss an issue they are having, we are ready (always) to dispense our advice to them. In the fast paced world, who has time to ponder over the problems. Isn’t it simpler to focus on the solution of it, so why not give advice!!

How many of you find it hard to resist the temptation to give solutions. How ironic – we may not have solutions for our own problems but we don’t fail to give advice to others. Rather than being a good listener and understand what another person is saying & feeling, we are more engaged in giving solution to the other person.

So do you know what is wrong with giving advice? Well, in the process of giving advice, unconsciously you are giving a message to another person that he/she doesn’t have the resources to solve their own problems. You are almost paralyzing their own problem solving ability. This gives them a feeling of “not being good enough or capable enough”.

The best way to give an advice is not give an advice at all; rather just be a good listener.

So what do I do instead of giving advice?

Instead of telling people “here is what you need to do”. It is best to keep shut, listen to them. Help them talk their heart out, so that they can articulate their own problem. Better than giving a response, is to help them talk to you by using open-ended questions and encouraging the person to think. In the conversation, the best suitable outcome for the person would become self evident.

This way, you are also equipping the person to find their own out and most importantly, believe in themselves.

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