Treatment for Obsessive compul...

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) affects an individual’s thoughts and behaviour. Here the individual has intrusive repetitive distressing thoughts and compulsions or ritualistic mental acts or behaviour that temporarily reduces the distress. Living with OCD can be devastating as the individual is aware that something is wrong with them but are unable to control their thoughts. […]

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Is alcoholism hereditary?

Number of studies has been conducted to find if our gene is the cause of alcoholism, yet there has not been a study that confirms it. Experts have conducted twin and adoption studies to reach this goal. However what was found was; genes or heredity is not the sole reason for alcoholism, along with it […]

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Impact of alcoholism on family

Alcoholism is a well known health hazard. It impacts the individual’s health, their social status, finance and mental health too. But along with these it also affects the abuser’s family. Man is a social being and is always connected to others; the closet among all is family. Hence the family is bound to get an […]

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Alcohol withdrawal Syndrome

Alcohol withdrawal Syndrome are a group of symptoms that are life threatening and occur when an individual completely stops consuming alcohol or greatly reduces their intake after a long period of alcohol intake. These symptoms may start from 8 hours to days after the individual stops and may last for day or even weeks. When […]

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Obsessive compulsive disorder-...

“An individual looking as normal as person can be, has an ordinary simple job and lives an ordinary life. But when it comes to having meals this individual has rules; the fork has to be on the right and spoon on the left straight, salt always on the right side of the plate, food has […]

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Finding a way out of the dark

Finding a way out of the darkI have been suffering from depression over a period of two years. I had lot of dark secrets from my childhood come out during this period of time. I didn’t expect anybody to really care and understand what I am going through. I often felt trapped inside and lost.

I am much better off now even though it took a lot of time to recognize things and cope up with situations. I used to get tired very easily.  There used to be days, when I used to sleep for 6 to 12 hours, but other days, I only slept for 4 and 6 hours.

It used to take all my energy to carry on without failing. I hardly have friends but they don’t get on well that easily. I have tried to stay out of socializing as much as possible. All I wanted was my voice to be heard and understood by someone. Sometimes I felt very worthless and useless, even questioned my existence on this earth.

I kept on questioning myself what did I do? Where did it go wrong? Living with these issues is really tough, when you find there is no one to listen to you. It’s not that easy for anyone else to understand such issues. I have also been to doctors several times and they just don’t seem to understand. I was put on anti-depressants. The doctor does not listen to, what I am saying; everyday seems to be a struggle, as no one seemed to care for me. My family do not care, friends don’t care and no one is helping me at all.

This phase of life looked like ups and downs. I regularly get fear and anxiety, where I believe someone will cheat on me. I sometimes feel paranoid and end up obsessing which causes lot of inner conflicts. I sometimes feel very low as I cannot control it. I have tried so hard not to lose hope and not think bad things in life.

It can be related to a number of unfortunate life events. My dad died when I was young and then finding a job was a tough one.  A messy divorce and troubled marriage doesn’t seem to go that well.  I used to be a self assured person later turned out to be a defeated one. I needed help that’s the only thing I know for certain but I was not willing to visit a Psychiatrist as I didn’t want to be labelled as a mentally unsound person.

I resorted to drinks and drugs to get over this problem which later caused lot of complications in life. In fact, it made things difficult for me instead of solving the problem.  The part is to finding the courage and strength to share it with someone. Depression made me feel that I had failed.It makes you feel like a terrible failure altogether.

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